Being An Unpalatable Black Woman

Tonight I had the privilege of speaking with my spiritual brother; who is also a black intellectual whom I am deeply inspired by. We were dialoguing about mutual support, finances and how the two should be intersectional. He begin to tell me about a mutual friend’s project and asked would I be supporting, to which, I declined. I explained to him that I have denounced my “moral compass” and have decided that this year I will only support those who support me. I expounded on my reasons and one was that it’s an effortless thing to share written content. Let’s be clear I will always accept monetary donations and people paying for my intellectual labor but I also understand that people have financial obligations that go beyond my projects. But it really takes nothing to share my work on their pages.

He said something that really rattled the very core of my spirit. He said, “you know why I think people don’t share your blog? Because it makes them extremely uncomfortable, and folks, especially those who are subscribers to Christianity, don’t like being uncomfortable.” Pretty raw, huh? Yeah, I know.

I have never written to appease the christian gaze. I’ve gained most of my notoriety from being controversial and using my critical thinking skills to debunk myths and ideologies that oppress black women. I believe that it was only considered “controversial” because being a black woman who owns her narrative makes you socially and spiritually unpalatable; especially in the “black” church. I cannot separate my individuality from my spirituality. I’ve tried and failed miserably.

I believe it is important for friends to be supportive. I also understand that those “friends” are not obligated to support anything which concerns me or you for that matter. I don’t believe in tagging fifty-people online asking for them to share my work. However, if I post it, I know you saw it.

The real spill is that people want you to grow until you begin to outgrow them.